Ecstacy pills long term effects are no joke?

i'm really going mad like when i dont want to think of something a certain thought i think of it i can never get rid of the thought ive passed around from anxiety to depression to just plain old crazy and im only 16 i took the drug last summer over 9 times probably 2 pills per trip all in 3 months and my mind is going nuts i never took another e pill after september and where already in may the only times i feel good and in control is when i smoke marijuana which i dont smoke regularly because after my effect from ecstasy im just done with it and my mind is just crazy now i masturbate alot and i think its got me going gay or something like honestly man this is alll leaded to ecstasy pils im not gay never ever ever been attracted to men but as i sayd the mind wont let me be in control and it wont let me not think positive only negative i wont say im a homophobe but i wouldnt want to be gay as messed up as it sounds to any gay people if you we're straight u would understand thanks to ecstasy pills as i sayd earlyer i cant be in control im nuts ive distenced my self from all from whom ive been close too and just locked my self away from the world just being home all the time and it sucks cus i just hate life sometimes being home makes me much more crazy then when im outside for some reason why i dont know why but just help me pls what should i do im sick of the negative thoughts the uncomftorable feelings like my mind is really screwed im also overweight by alot of pounds not extreme fat lol but im 220 and i should be 148 -160im in the gym trying to shed some off though are theyre any good foods or vitamins for the brain ?