Where do you turn to for advice when your the leading expert on insanity?

in 2005 I attempted suicide.. not out of self pitty or anything like that but due to an ambigious "miracle" that a scripture in the bible in the book of Job changed the word seven into the number 7000 in 2 different places.. beside eachother.. where it said and now you must sacrifice 7000 Bulls and 7000 rams~. it was on the morning of July 21 where the previous night on July 20th I had told a man who had 3 empty cans of beer beside him and was drinking one had introduced himself as micheal guessed my name was adam and asked if I had somthing to say after I wouldn't answer his questions I said 7000 fell!. he said 7000 bell?! 7000 bell?! the next morning I opened my bible randomly as I had been acustomed to do over the past few months and opened to that scripture in job the word seven flashed to 7000 in 2 different spots and then back to the word seven. in a moment of ecstacy I went to my window looked out to the ground and seen a man sitting there on a medical cot with a bible open looking into it.. to excited to think of anything else I asked him what time it was.. he said 9 o'clock too excited to ask what he was doing there I got dressed and went to church for some reason the scriptures where jesus told people not to tell anyone of certain miracles he performed stayed in my mind and I was reluctant to tell anyone what happened out of what little rationality I had left.. over the months I had come to feel much pity for myself in trying to find some purpose prior to these events. I had decided that my life was so worthless that Judas Iscariot being given life instead of me was my motivation to live and die with no reward other then for judas to regain his life to the effect that he would want to live. as three days elapsed I had seen many more coiencedences as I read the bible randomly and people all around me seemed to act as strangely as I must have been acting.. after the three days I found myself at queen elizabeths theater trying to sleep with a dirty shirt I had found and exchanged for my clean one because it had the number 4 on it. some cops arrested me because I scarred some people in queen elizabeths theater while trying to scare them off because I was trying to sleep as I had not slept in three days and believed at this point if I did the world would be better when I woke up. as I layed there every time I almost fell asleep a car would honk it's horn this happened continuously finally some people found me and called the police (for obvious reasons) earlier I had randomly flipped the bible open to where it said "be silent" and so I felt as though I could not speak and this made everything very scarry.. finally when the police arrived I remained silent as they asked me questions. I happened to sneeze and one of them said bless you. and some passers by two wemon said.. your shield bosses have surrounded you. I broke down ended up in the squad car where I was delivered to the hospitol (st. pauls) where my mind went wild with all kinds of crazy thoughts.. I was handed a sandwhich by an angry nurse who told me to eat it very angryly.. I took a small piece of it and ate it as christs body. after being told to take a shower and being threatened by her to wash me herself.. so I did obviously the dirty shirt was not a good idea.. in the room I was in there was a sharp concrete block of stone.. a tall man was being wheeled away on a medical bed as I looked out.. I started to believe this person was Judas and that he must have been brought back to life only to die again as punishment for causeing me to end up where I was.. I walked to the door and glared at this person feeling scared that I must make myself accountable for his error. the nurse came up to me to tell me to sit down but I felt I must comunicate my thoughts and the only way I could was by pretending to attempt to kill this man who I thought was judas. I pulled a pen from the nurses shirt and pretended to attack but cut myself short. I obviously scared the crap out of everyone so they locked me in the room.. left to my own thoughts I came to the conclusion the only way to save judas was to kill myself so like somthing out of the Saw Movies, I started to smash my head against the corner of the cement block in my room. the nurse came to the door opened it and said uh oh.. after the third time I pounded my head I lost my objective and scrambled toward the man I thought was judas I lost consciousness and awoke on an operateing table at the very second the doctor cut the last stitch to my forehead I still have a hard time believeing that the "miracle" wasn't real however the insanity that came with it has left me with more psycolgical complexes then I can deal with. is it by coincedence that my "miracle" of 7000 happens to be a pinnacle number in the bible even where the mistakes are made? where do you turn to for advice when your the leading expert on insanity?